Meet Mike Lancer

A two story house with a big oak tree in the back yard sits not too far outside the city limits of San Francisco, California. It’s a quiet street. Branching off in three directions are other residential streets. Houses are not as crowded together as one might expect, near a hub of activity like San Francisco.

This modest house belongs to a licensed private investigator. Step inside with me and meet Mike Lancer. Actually you will not be meeting Mr. Lancer in person. He and his wife, Angela, are on a big case in Los Angeles at the moment. Rather, I will introduce you by other means. Don’t be shy, come along and let’s get started.

Land sakes I guess I should introduce myself, I’m Mrs. Darby. I take care of the house for the Lancers when they are away. I feed their cat, Arizona, water the plants and watch the children from time to time. If you step into the foyer I’ll show you around.

Mike was in the Vietnam War. I think it must have been terrible for him, I can just tell. Over here on the library table is a picture of him with his scout team, Wildcat Four. Mike said they were called Scouts back then, now they’re called Rangers. His best friend, Chief, was the team leader. He was killed by friendly fire. It almost broke Mike’s heart. I don’t understand why they call it friendly fire when it kills good people. That’s why Mike became a private investigator you know. He and his friend Chief planned to do that very thing when they got out of the Army. Back to the World is what Mike always calls it.

I met the Lancers when my Little Freddie got lost. Mike found him lickety split. Kittens can be rascals you know. Right over here is my favorite thing in the house. I look at it every time I’m here. This book is a record of their big cases. They name each one and write down the important details. Reading it is so exciting, I feel like I was right there with them.

The first case was called, Lancer, Inc. Mike had a rough time with that one. He was almost killed. Why they threw him out of a speeding car, right out there in front of the house. The misses had a hard time piecing it all together while Mike was in the hospital. Look right here it says it was an unbelievable tale of greed, passion, murder and suspense. Doesn’t that sound exciting?

They talked about the second case, South of the Border, for weeks after it was over. Mike’s  Army buddy, Ramon, asked for help. He was sure his sister-in-law was murdered but the police said she committed suicide. They live in Cancun, Mexico and Ramon was afraid the police wouldn’t find out the truth. They were gone quite a while on that case because so many other bad things happened. Children came up missing and Mike said Sergeant Gutierrez was having a hard time getting to the bottom of it. It made the hair stand up on the back of my neck, with the complications and all.

This one, DEAth Conspiracy, was pretty scary for Mike. His brothers are scallopers so they work on the ocean. The DEA accused them of doing all sorts of bad things like drug smuggling and murder. Mike told me the DEA people were dumb as flat rocks. But I’m pretty sure he was just worried about his family. The only good thing about that case was that Mike was able to see his family. Sometimes bad things happen for good reasons.

There isn’t anything about the new case in here yet but it sounds interesting and confusing. Something about kids turning on their parents and pretty much ruling the roost. They are even beating people up and robbing them. In my day it would be time to bring out the paddle and give those little buggers a taste of retribution…Vengeance if you will. Land sakes just listen to me rattle on and on. I’m sure there is someplace you have to be. I hope you’ll forgive an old lady who just likes to talk. We don’t get too many strangers hereabouts.

I’ll tell Mike you stopped by Vinnie. I’m sure he will be sorry he missed you. Stop by again soon and I’ll tell you about Mike’s wife, Angela. She’s a real firecracker that one.


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